


Can I Touch?

by knockmeout



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-01-01 09:15:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18333083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knockmeout/pseuds/knockmeout
Summary: Jihoon finds himself wearing Jeonghan's stocking while he changes to his PE clothes.(Loosely based on Jackass! - Sawatte Ii Tte Dare Ga Itta Yo?)--Bonus Chapter updated--





	1. Chapter 1

“Jihoo~n”

Jihoon tries pushing away the whining guy attaching himself on his back. “Go away, Soonyoung!”

“But, I’m sad!” Soonyoung whines, “Entertain me!”

Jihoon elbows Soonyoung’s stomach, making the taller boy whines but not enough to make him unlatches himself from Jihoon’s back. “What happened now?” Jihoon asks in defeat.

“You don’t sound interested!” Jihoon doesn’t see his face, but he is sure there is a pout on Soonyoung’s lips now.

“You’re impossible! Go bug someone else!” Jihoon struggles to get out of Soonyoung’s arms, but the later whines and tightens his hold on Jihoon’s shoulder. “Jesus, Kwon!”

On the seat in front of them, Junhui and Wonwoo watches them with amused face. “The usual break up news then?” Wonwoo says, fixing his round glasses.

Soonyoung only answers with a whine.

“Soonyoung broke up with his girlfriend and asked Jihoon for comfort. What’s new?” Junhui laughs.

“Which one was it? The noona from the school near the station? Or was it the college girl working part time in the convenience store?” Wonwoo scrunches his nose as he tries to remember Soonyoung’s last girlfriend.

“I think it’s the college girl. That noona from the other school was last month,” Junhui snickers. “Soonyoung was surprised that noona was a lot older than he thought she is,”

“Shut up! She has nice legs!”

“That’s your problem, you only look at their legs!” Wonwoo snorts. “You should start looking at their face before dating them!”

“Jihoon, they are making fun of me!” Soonyoung whines. Wonwoo and Junhui cackles on their seat. Jihoon rolls his eyes.

“Shut up! Fine! We can watch some movies and eat ice cream later. Jeonghan-hyung just bought a new box yesterday!”

“Yay!” Soonyoung hugs him tighter and Jihoon groans.

“That sounds fun! Can we join? You know, the more the merrier!” Wonwoo says.

But Soonyoung immediately declines him, “No! You guys are not invited! This is my date with Jihoon!”

Junhui breaks out laughing while Wonwoo reaches behind him to slap Soonyoung’s pouting mouth. Jihoon sighs. He needs to get a new set of friends.

“Now, can you really get off my back? We need to change, it’s time for PE,”

The three of them immediately turn to see the clock hanging on the wall, collectively curse and scramble to get their PE clothes from their bag. Jihoon picks his bag from under his table. “Ugh, Jeonghan-hyung wore my jersey pants to sleep last night!”

“Seriously? Again?” Junhui asks in disbelief.

“I collected this from the laundry basket this morning.” Jihoon scrunches his nose in distaste. “I hid it in the lower drawer in my room before I went to sleep last night. But he still found it.”

Wonwoo wheezes, “He need to grow out of his drunk habit. What will happen when you graduate and you need to throw the pants away?”

Jihoon removes his shirt and changes it with the PE shirt. “I bet he will find it before I can throw it away. He’s obsessed with this pants,” Jihoon says as he lowers his school pants and switches it with his jersey pants.

“As long as he didn’t throw up on it, it won’t be a problem,” Soonyoung laughs, he already finishes changing his clothes and now sitting on the table while waiting for them.

Jihoon pulls his pants up and feel something silky slides along his legs, “What the fuck,” Jihoon widens his eyes in disbelief as he slightly lowers his pants. A sliver of black fabric cover his pale thigh and Jihoon quickly pulls the pants back up. His face paling in panic.

“What? Did Jeonghan-hyung really threw up on it?” Junhui peeks down to see Jihoon’s pants better. Jihoon pulls the pants up to his waist. His mind runs frantically. Fuck, Jeonghan-hyung, this is really not funny. He can’t exactly pull his pants down and remove the additional clothing in front of his friends. Luckily, no one really saw the offending fabric apart from him.

Wait. No.

Jihoon looks up to find Soonyoung’s eyes are locked on his thighs. “Soonyoung…”

Soonyoung snaps his head up to meet his eyes and immediately, he grabs Jihoon’s waist and carries him bridal style. Jihoon yelps in surprise, locking his arms around Soonyoung’s neck.

“Sorry guys, it looks like Jihoon has a cramp. I’ll take him to the health room. Tell Mr. Kim to excuse us, alright?” Soonyoung says, running out of the classroom as fast as he can to the health room ignoring Wonwoo’s and Junhui’s calls of ‘You just want to skip class!’

Once they are in front of the health room, Soonyoung throws open the door using his foot, surprising the health teacher who is currently eating his lunch.

“Wha-? Kwon?” the teacher immediately stands up, looking alarmed, and is about to approach Soonyoung when he lays Jihoon on one of the bed, but Soonyoung turns to face him, pushing the teacher out of the room. “Wait! What are you doing, Soonyoung? Is Jihoon okay?”

“He is fine, Mr. Hong. Please do yourself a favor and buy that mozzarella sticks from the cafeteria? I bet you will love it! It tastes so good,” Soonyoung says with a smile before slamming the door in front of the teacher and locking it from the inside.

“I can’t believe you just locked out Mr. Hong from his own office, Soonyoung,” Jihoon sits up on the edge of the bed. His legs dangling, black fabric peeks out of the bottom of his jersey pants.

“Ugh. Jeonghan-hyung’s drunk habit is so troublesome. I can’t believe he left his stocking inside,” Jihoon pulls his pants off, showing his milky white legs covered in a black stocking. The color of his skin contrasting nicely with the dark fabric.

Jihoon is about to pull the stocking off when Soonyoung’s hand gripped his mid-thigh, holding the stocking in place. Jihoon looks up to his best friend who has his eyes on Jihoon stocking covered thighs. “Soonyoung?” An alarm blares in his brain.

“Fuck, Jihoon,” Soonyoung whispers, “Your thighs look so nice,”

Jihoon feels his heart racing on his ribs. “What the hell are you talking about? How can a man’s thighs look nice?” Jihoon tries to move back from Soonyoung’s grip. He watches Soonyoung screws his eyebrows together.

“You’re right,” he says, but his grip on Jihoon’s thighs doesn’t lessen. “But, yours look so nice,” Soonyoung runs his palms up and down Jihoon’s thighs. Jihoon suppresses the shiver that threatens to break on his skin. “It’s so pretty, it looks so good with the black stocking. Jihoon, can I touch it?”

“You’re already touching it, asshole!” Jihoon bites his lip when Soonyoung grip tightens on his thigh. “Did you hear yourself? Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Of course, I am. Let me touch it, Jihoon, please?”

“Like I said, your hands are already on it!” Jihoon kicks Soonyoung’s shin.

“So I can touch it?”

“Do I have another choice?”

And Soonyoung drops down on his knees. He runs his hands down Jihoon’s legs, massaging the firm muscles. “Your muscles are so firm. Surprising, when you don’t even exercise,” Soonyoung says, his palms putting pressure on Jihoon’s calves. After a few more minutes of groping, Soonyoung looks up to him. “Jihoon, can I—um—can I kiss it?”

“Soonyoung!” Jihoon yells, face flaming red. What the hell is wrong with Soonyoung?

“Please?” Soonyoung looks up to him with his best puppy eyes, knowing very well that Jihoon won’t be able to reject him.

“God! What the hell is wrong with you?” Jihoon hides his embarrassed face with his hands. But, Soonyoung is still eyeing him with that puppy eyes (Jihoon can feel it) and his hands are persistently groping his thighs.

“Fine! Do it!” Jihoon finally says, nudging Soonyoung to go forward. He hears a soft ‘yes’ before he feels hot breath fanning his left leg.

Soonyoung starts from his left calf. A pair of lips presses itself on the stocking covered skin. Jihoon holds his breath. Soonyoung’s lips feels hot against his skin. The kisses move its way up to the inside of his knee, before switching to the right calf, giving it the same treatment as the left.

Jihoon is shivering on his PE shirt. He tries not to imagine Soonyoung pressing his lips on his legs, but it’s so hard to do. “Ah, fuck,” he hears Soonyoung moans against his right thigh.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon,” Soonyoung mumbles before Jihoon hears the sound of skin gliding against skin. Jihoon promptly opens his eyes to look at the kneeling guy.

“Wait? Soonyoung? Are you—? Oh, God!” Jihoon closes his eyes again. Soonyoung is jerking himself off while touching and kissing his thighs. Jihoon pushes the image away from his mind, but how can he? He can hear Soonyoung’s soft pants and the slick glide of his hand and his cock. Not helping with the way Soonyoung’s other hand gripping his thigh and the little bites Soonyoung leaves here and there on the inside of Jihoon’s exposed thighs.

“Ngh, Jihoon, I’m coming!” Soonyoung mumbles. It shouldn’t bother him this much to hear Soonyoung calling his name when he comes in his hand, lips attached on Jihoon’s thigh, but it does. Jihoon squirms from his position on the bed, awfully aware of Soonyoung’s hot breath against his skin. Soonyoung is still crouched on the floor, leaning his forehead against Jihoon’s legs.

“Get off, Soonyoung,” Jihoon mumbles. Soonyoung seems to be jerked off his trance when he looks up.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Soonyoung stands up, grabbing the tissue on the table to clean his hands. Jihoon pulls the stocking off of his legs. He reaches for his pants when Soonyoung clears his throat.

“Um, Jihoon, I—,” Soonyoung’s words seem to be caught on his throat. Jihoon looks up to his friend, noticing he is staring below him. Jihoon follows his line of vision and flushes. There is a tent on his boxer.

Jihoon quickly jumps off the bed, pulling his jersey pants up his legs ignoring Soonyoung’s “Wait, I can help!”

Soonyoung is an idiot, Jihoon thinks as he run away from the health room as fast as his hard on allows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if anyone remembers this?  
> So yeah, I also write this. I find myself loving this again, so I'm reposting it.  
> I hope I can finish it this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Running as fast as he can to his apartment building, Jihoon curses the previous event in his mind incessantly. He lied to his homeroom teacher, saying that he’s feeling unwell as an excuse to go home early. His flushed face helped convincing his teacher to let him go faster.

Jihoon runs to the second floor as soon as he reaches the apartment building. Fortunately, Jeonghan has his afternoon shift today. He doesn’t want to think about what will Jeonghan do if he sees Jihoon skips school because he got a hard on. Ugh. He wants to bang his head to the wall.

He still can feel Soonyoung’s fingers on his thighs, his lips on his skin, the tingling sensation when Soonyoung marks him. Cupping his groin, Jihoon groans as he feels his already hard cock twitches at the thought.

“This is so embarrassing,” he mumbles as he unlocks the door. Jihoon shouldn’t be affected this much by Soonyoung jerking himself off to his thighs. He shouldn’t be skipping school because he got a hard on for his supposed to be best friend. He has tried so hard, it shouldn’t be shattered this easily.

Jihoon steps inside his apartment, and is about to close the door when a foot slips itself through the doorway. He yelps, surprised, and lets go of the door he is holding. Soonyoung pushes in, breath ragged, their bags on each of his shoulders. 

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon asks, his voice shrill. Soonyoung shouldn’t be here.

“You forgot your bag,” Soonyoung pants, dropping the bag on the floor. “Thank God, I caught up with you,”

He shouldn’t. Damn Kwon Soonyoung and his unnecessary determination when he puts his mind to it. His hair is plastered to his forehead, sweat covers his skin. Two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned, sparing Jihoon the fair toned chest the taller boy supported. Jihoon shakes his head when his mind flashes a thought about how it’d feel to mark the visible skin.

“Thanks,” Jihoon answers. He catches Soonyoung’s eyes flickers to his groin.

“You’re still hard,” he says. Jihoon wants to roll his eyes. Soonyoung is an idiot.

“Thank you for noticing. So, will you please get out of the door so I can take care of it?”

“Is it because of me?”

Jihoon blushes. This idiot, seriously.

“No, it isn’t,” Jihoon lies. He feels Soonyoung’s eyes on him, making him involuntarily squirm.

Soonyoung clears his throat, “Uh, you also forgot this,” He pulls the stocking out of his bag. Jihoon widens his eyes and tries to snatch the clothing off Soonyoung’s hand only to have the taller boy pulls it out of his reach. 

Jihoon glares at the the slanted eyes boy. “Kwon,” he growls with a warning.

“Lee,” Soonyoung calls back calmly, knowing he has the upper hand. 

“What do you want?” Jihoon huffs.

“Tell me honestly why you get hard,”

Jihoon gapes at older boy. No fucking way. “Why does it matter to you?”

“Is it really not because of me?”

Jihoon clamps his mouth closely. Has it always been this troublesome dealing with Kwon Soonyoung?

“Come on, Jihoon. Do you really not get hard because I touched you?”

Jihoon blushes. His mind involuntary replays the scene from the infirmary. Soonyoung’s fingers, his breath, his lips on his thighs. Soonyoung’s lips, looking soft and felt soft. Jihoon gulps.

“Because, Lee Jihoon, I can beg if you want, please, can you please let me see you with this on one more time?”

***

They are in his room. Facing each other, both sporting a hard on, staring at each other (correction: Soonyoung is staring at his legs, while Jihoon stares at him). Internally he chides himself, he is too soft for the taller boy. Because it didn’t even take Soonyoung’s that much effort to make Jihoon agrees to his request.

Jihoon has took off his jersey pants and puts on the stocking in the bathroom. When he entered the room, Soonyoung groaned as soon as he saw it, hands cupped on his groin. He was sitting on the floor, back against Jihoon’s bed, eyes locked on Jihoon’s legs, savoring the image from the tip of his toe up to his bulging boxer.

“Are you still telling me that you’re not hard because of me?”

Jihoon doesn’t answer. He doesn’t believe himself to speak. His cock twitches at the mere sight of Soonyoung sitting there with his hard on. All turned on just because he sees Jihoon’s legs. Jihoon gulps down a moan when Soonyoung’s eyes move to his groin. His hand instinctively covers the bulge.

“Lee?” Soonyoung presses, looking up to look Jihoon in the eyes. Jihoon shivers as his cock twitches again. Soonyoung never sees him like this. Soonyoung never has his eyes on him like this. Jihoon drops down on his knees as his hand presses harder.

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung shuffles closer, tone now laced with worry. Jihoon holds up his hand.

“No, stay there,” Jihoon pants. He can’t believe he is touching himself in front of Soonyoung. His face is flushed and his breath is heaving.

Soonyoung doesn’t seem to understand his request as he quickly catches him when Jihoon topples forward. “Soonyoung--don’t!” Jihoon gasps when Soonyoung wraps his arms around him. He clutches Soonyoung’s shirt tightly as he relishes on the hot touch on his back. He could smell the fresh perfume the taller boy always wear. Jihoon bites his lips as he comes on his boxer.

“Shit, did you come?” Soonyoung whispers. Jihoon breathes heavily against Soonyoung’s shoulder. His mind is hazy from the pleasure. But he can register Soonyoung’s hand on his back, he can also feels Soonyoung’s hand on his thigh.

“Soonyoung--” Jihoon gasps when Soonyoung’s hand travels too close to his groin. his cock twitches inside his boxer.

“Soonyoung, stop it,” Jihoon whimpers, “I’m gonna get hard again,”

Soonyoung stops. Jihoon’s heart pang with a slight disappointment. He clenches his fist tightly on Soonyoung’s shirt, still unwilling to let it go.

But, the disappointment doesn’t last long when Soonyoung picks him up and drops him carefully on his bed. Jihoon’s heartbeat picks up rate as Soonyoung joins him, hands gripping his ankles as he moves to settle himself between Jihoon’s legs.

Jihoon reflexively moans when Soonyoung places his lips on his right ankle. Hot breath fans his calf, teeth grazing his skin, breaking the thin clothing as Soonyoung goes up to his thigh. “Soonyoung…” Jihoon gasps his name when the taller boy left a kiss mark on his fair thigh.

Soonyoung looks up to him, releasing the abused skin, his lips moves back to his left ankle. As he moves up, Soonyoung presses closer, positioning himself between Jihoon’s legs, groin to groin. “Let me know, if you don’t want this,” Soonyoung mumbles against his thigh. Jihoon can feel his hard cock pressed against his own hard one. “Please, Jihoon.” Soonyoung grunts. Jihoon spots a wet spot on his jersey. Jihoon stops himself from moaning. “Please, can I touch you?”

“You already are,” Jihoon answers breathlessly.

“I am,” Soonyoung smiles, “Doesn’t this sound familiar?”

“Yes, asshole. If that’s what you want to hear,”

“You can’t just tell me nicely,” Soonyoung says as his hands firmly grip Jihoon’s thighs. “So damn beautiful,” he mumbles, and Jihoon releases another gasp when Soonyoung’s hand grazes his aching cock.

Noticing his reaction, Soonyoung presses his palm on Jihoon’s groin. Jihoon quickly grasps Soonyoung’s wrist. “Soonyoung…”

“Is this okay?” Soonyoung asks, carefully massaging the hard cock. Jihoon closes his eyes, bottom lip secured between his teeth, unable to make a sound while his body shivers with pleasure. Soonyoung hasn’t even touched him directly, he feels on edge already.

“Jihoon, I’m gonna touch you directly, alright?” Soonyoung whispers, too close to his ear that Jihoon opens his eyes. He is close. Jihoon grips his bedsheet tightly, captivated by the closeness. 

Soonyoung has his left arm supports him as he leans down on him. His body heat radiates directly from his body. Jihoon gasps when Soonyoung sneaks his right hand down Jihoon’s boxer and grips his hard cock. “Soonyoung! Ah!” 

“Fuck,” He hears Soonyoung whispers as Jihoon comes in his hand. Soonyoung strokes the hard cock, milking the come out of Jihoon. “You’re so sensitive,”

Jihoon whimpers, clutching Soonyoung’s arms when Soonyoung doesn’t stop moving, making his cock hard again. “Soonyoung, please, I can’t…”

“This is the last time,” Soonyoung says as he lets go of Jihoon’s cock to fumble with his jersey. Jihoon moans as Soonyoung pulls out his weeping hard cock. 

“Why are you so hard?” Jihoon whimpers.

“Why did you come so much?” Soonyoung asks back, but Jihoon only moans when Soonyoung strokes their cocks together.

More than anything, the pleasure is amplified when Jihoon hears Soonyoung’s moans so close to his ear. He is sure is face is blushing fiercely. He has his fingers wrapped around Soonyoung’s upper arms as he bucks up to add the friction between their cocks. Soonyoung feels wet and hard against him. “Soonyoung…” He whispers.

“Wraps your legs around me, please,” Soonyoung asks and Jihoon obeys. Soonyoung groans, his cock twitches against his. Soonyoung’s hand strokes frantically as he approaches his orgasm, sending Jihoon into moaning his name like a prayer.

Jihoon’s leg slips down from Soonyoung’s middle along his leg. Soonyoung groans, “Fuck!”

His hips buck against Jihoon before a long drawl of his name slips out Soonyoung’s lips, “Jihoon…” and Soonyoung’s comes between their stomach, coating their cocks with his thick come. Jihoon twitches below him, engraving Soonyoung’s expression as he comes onto his brain. Recording the soft pants and moans of his name that slips from Soonyoung’s red lips.

“Soonyoung…” Jihoon whispers his name and Soonyoung opens his eyes. He wishes this is not a dream. He prays that this is not a dream. He wishes that Soonyoung will still be here when he wakes up. 

Jihoon cups Soonyoung’s face, eyes locked with the slanted eyes that watches him as he comes between their stomachs.

He wishes he can kiss those lips.

***

Soonyoung is gone.

He should have known.


	3. Chapter 3

It is dark when Jihoon wakes up still in his school shirt and an empty bed. Sitting up, he notices that he wears a new pair of pants. He looks around the room, a tiny part of his heart wishes to see any kind of trace. Anything, no matter how small, to prove to himself that it wasn’t only his dream. But he finds nothing.

Jihoon ignores the pang in his chest as he heard the sound of running water and Jeonghan singing softly. He throws his blanket aside, taking a deep breath, he stands up and walks out of his room. When he enters the kitchen, Jeonghan is taking out a plate and a pair of spoon and fork. The smell of pork cutlets makes his stomach growls.

Jeonghan jumps slightly when he notices him. “Geez, Jihoon! You surprised me,” Jeonghan exclaims, clutching his chest, “I thought you slept already,”

“I just woke up,” Jihoon answers, his voice hoarse.

“Don’t tell me you slept since you got back from school?” Jeonghan asks, eyeing his school shirt in disapproval, “Go take a shower, will you?”

“I’m hungry,” Jihoon says.

“No, take a shower first then we can eat!” Jeonghan ushers him to the bathroom. Jihoon groans, but makes his way to the bathroom anyway.

Once he is inside, he looks at his reflection in the mirror. His hair is a mess and he looks like he has a hangover. He feels like he has a hangover. There is a persistent thump at the back of his head that makes him wants to throw up.

Deciding that a warm shower would be the best right now, Jihoon takes off his clothes, only to freeze when he notices the red blotches littering his thighs. Fingermarks and kiss marks cover the inside of his thighs, not prominent enough to raise suspicion, but visible enough for Jihoon to remember the feeling when they were made.

Jihoon crouches down, clutching his chest. “Aahh,” he moans in distress. “You’re even dumber than Kwon Soonyoung, Lee Jihoon,”

“Jihoon?”

Jihoon jumps from his position on the floor, “Yeah?”

“I forgot to refill the body wash,” Jeonghan creaks the door open to slip the body wash refill through the doorway. “Shower quickly. I’m starving,” Jeonghan says as he closes the door.

Jihoon eyes the body wash refill that Jeonghan just put beside the door and he recalls an unpleasant conversation from years ago, when Soonyoung stayed over and said, “Your body wash smells like my girlfriend’s shampoo,”

He almost throws away the pouch before he remembers that Jeonghan loves the body wash. With a resigned sigh, Jihoon picks up the pouch and refills the empty bottle. He then proceeds to wash his body without using the body wash, almost violently scrubbing the marks on his thighs that once he is finished with his shower, his thighs are bright red. 

Wearing a pair of sweatshirt and sweatpants, Jihoon steps out of the bathroom, lightly rubbing his wet hair with the towel. He thought warm shower would make him feel better. He doesn’t feel any better.

Jeonghan frowns when he flops down in front of him. Jihoon ignores the look and picks his chopsticks, eyeing the tupperwares on the table between them. “Is this from that scary hyung?”

“Don’t call him scary,” Jeonghan chides, “Cheol said he had some leftovers from the restaurant. He dropped by the hospital earlier,”

“Don’t you mean he picked you up from the hospital and took you home?” Jihoon teases.

“Shut up and eat,” Jeonghan replies, the slight flush on the elder’s face is enough to tell Jihoon that he guessed correctly. 

Jihoon chuckles. The chef has been pining his brother for quite some times. Jeonghan always denies their relationship, but Jihoon knows that Jeonghan also feels the same. He is just playing hard to get. 

Jihoon takes a mouthful of rice after topping his rice with a strip of pork cutlets and fried vegetables. “As expected from your chef boyfriend,” Jihoon comments as he savors the flavor.

“He is not my boyfriend,” Jeonghan replies, taking a bite of the pork cutlet.

“Yet,” Jihoon says, earning himself a gentle kick from the elder.

“Just eat your food,”

“You don’t even deny it,” Jihoon snickers, moving his legs out of his older brother’s reach, knowing that comment would earn him another kick.

Jeonghan pouts, his usual trademark when he sulks, “You’re so cheeky, and here I was, worried that something happened at school,”

Jihoon averts his eyes as soon as Jeonghan brings up school. Maintaining a blank face, he takes another mouthful and busies himself with chewing his food. “Nothing happened,”

“Really? You look terrible, though,” Jeonghan eyes him with concern. Jihoon ignores Jeonghan’s comment and continues eating. “Seriously, Jihoon . Is it about college?”

Jihoon stops himself from sighing. “No, hyung. I told you I made up my mind,”

“And I told you we can afford it,” Jeonghan says, staring pointedly at the younger boy,  “I want you to live your life to the fullest. You don’t have to worry about anything,”

“I’m not worried, hyung. Living my life to the fullest doesn’t necessarily include going to college.” Jihoon answers. “I don’t have anything I want to do in college,”

“But, Jihoon…”

“Can we please not talk about this now?” Jihoon pleads, “I’m tired,”

Jeonghan opens his mouth to retaliate but with Jihoon staring at him pleadingly, Jeonghan lets out a long sigh and decides to grant him his wish. For now.

Jihoon knows there are many things Jeonghan wants to say, many questions he wants to ask, but Jihoon can’t handle those right now. Not when his mind is in jeopardy, not when his heart clenches painfully thinking about what he wants and what he can’t have.

***

Jihoon has been staring at his phone since he woke up. He doesn’t have to do his delivery today, so the only thing he has been doing after he opened his eyes is staring at his phone. On weekends like this, his phone usually blows up with notifications to the point of annoying. Soonyoung would text him good morning, asked him what his plan for the weekends, and bugged him to hang out with him until Jihoon said yes. Anything to get his mind off the break up.

But, his phone has been dead aside from Wonwoo’s text asking him how he was doing. Their conversations before the PE class feels like a long time ago when a day hasn’t even passed. The following event is still etched fresh on his mind, but he only feels a dull pang remains in his chest.

He can always text first. He knows that, but how can he when he is so afraid he had blown up his cover yesterday? Soonyoung must be aware now about his feeling, about what he hid behind closed door all this time. That must be it. What other reason would make Soonyoung, who’s usually clueless, clingy and bothersome after his break up, to be this quiet? There is only that one reason, and Jihoon is not ready to face the consequences.

“Jihoon?” Jihoon drops his phone on his chest when he hears a soft knock on his bedroom door. Jeonghan peeks through the small opening before opening the door wide when he notices Jihoon is awake.

“Oh, you’re up,” He says, leaning himself on the doorway. Jihoon frowns when he notices the uniform.

“I thought it’s your day off?”

Jeonghan grimaces, catching the displease on Jihoon’s tone, “Yeah, I need to replace someone,” He motions a stop to Jihoon before he gets to say anything, “I respect your wish yesterday, so I wish you respect mine today,”

Jihoon squints his eyes towards his older brother, but he shuts his mouth anyway.

“Can you please go to the supermarket? I was planning to do it today, but, well…” Jeonghan trails off as Jihoon’s glare intensifies.

“I swear, you’re working too much,” Jihoon stands up and puts on his hoodie.

“I am not. I’m just doing a friend a favor,” Jeonghan puts his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders when he walks past him and trails behind him as they walk to the kitchen.

“Here’s the list,” Jeonghan shoves his card and the list into Jihoon’s hand, “Buy an extra ice cream if you like. Didn’t you say that you have a movie night with Soonyoung?”

“That’s cancelled until further notice,” Jihoon answers.

Jeonghan raises his eyebrows, “Why? Did you fight?” he asks, following Jihoon to the front door where he puts his shoes on.

“No. He ditched me,” Jihoon replies as casually as he can. Jihoon doesn’t see it, but he is sure Jeonghan has a disapproving look on his face.

“I swear one of these days I’m gonna teach that playboy to treat you better. You’re not just his comfort pillow,”

“Hyung, Soonyoung is not that bad,”

“I know that. But, I want to hate him because you always defend him whenever I badmouth him,” Jeonghan grumbles. Jihoon smiles at his pouting brother.

“Aren’t you supposed to go to work?” Jihoon motions to the clock hanging on the wall. 

“Yeah, Cheol said he’ll pick me up and drop me off in the hospital on his way to the restaurant,”

Jihoon smirks teasingly at the elder, “Yeah, sure,”

“Wipe that smirk off your face, Lee Jihoon.” Jeonghan says warningly, but there is a cute blush coloring his cheekbones.

“I’m just happy for you,” Jihoon says, quickly avoiding the swinging hand that tries to pinch his cheek, “Don’t forget to lock the door before you leave!” Jihoon laughs when Jeonghan misses his cheek and he leaves through the front door.

The supermarket is just two blocks away from the apartment block. Jeonghan has never let him do the shopping because his brother loves to baby him. But, at times like this, he is thankful that Jeonghan relies on him even though that means the elder’s has his hands full with other things. Jeonghan works too hard, and Jihoon can’t believe the elder no matter how many times he said he was not working too hard.

Riding his bike, Jihoon arrives in less than ten minutes at the supermarket. He takes one of the carts lined up beside the entrance and pushes it towards the aisle where he needs to get the things Jeonghan listed. 

He makes a quick trip around the supermarket and is about to line up for payment when he hears a familiar deep voice from behind him.

“You look fine. Thanks for letting me know,” Jihoon looks back to see a dark haired boy with a cart full of groceries following behind him. “You could reply my text, you know. You look fine enough to move your fingers,”

“Hi, Won,” Jihoon replies curtly as he queues behind a tall woman. Wonwoo queues behind him.

“How are you really? What happened yesterday?” Wonwoo casually asks.

“I’m fine now. Stomach cramp.”

Jihoon feels the stare on the side of his head. Lying to Wonwoo has always been a challenge. He got caught most of the time.

“Where is Soonyoung? You’re usually attached at the hip at times like this,” Wonwoo asks. Jihoon sighs. Wonwoo really knows where to hit when it comes to him. He knows Jihoon too much.

“Can we please not talk about him?” Jihoon says.

“I see, you’re fighting. What that dumbass do this time?”

“We’re not fighting,” Jihoon responds, “And I’m the dumber one,” he adds softly.

Jihoon ignores Wonwoo’s worried gaze as he wheels his cart to the cashier. Wonwoo rushes to the next cashier who becomes free after a man wheeled his cart back to the aisle to find some other things he forgets.

The cashiers quickly scanned their items and once they both paid, Wonwoo falls behind Jihoon’s steps as he follows him to where their bikes are parked.

“I’m not sure I can agree to your statement. I agree you both are dumb, but Soonyoung is definitely the dumber one,” Wonwoo says as he offers him an ice cream. 

“Thanks for the praise, Jeon,” Jihoon rolls his eyes, taking the ice cream from Wonwoo’s hand.

“No problem, Lee,” The glasses boy grins. They open their ice cream and sit down at the curb to eat it.

“He ditched me yesterday,” Jihoon says. 

“Wow, that’s a first. I see that you’re not happy about it,”

“Thanks again, Jeon,” Jihoon slaps the taller upper arm for his sarcastic comment.

“So much for being a ‘friend is enough’,”

“We did something more than friends should yesterday,”

“What?”

“He jerked off to my thighs and I let him touch me,”

Wonwoo chokes on his ice cream. The glasses boy is opening and closing his mouth in disbelief as he tries to comprehend Jihoon’s words. “He what?!”

“Do you think he’s disgusted with me?”

“Wow, when you said you’re dumber…” Wonwoo shakes his head incredulously. “Knowing Soonyoung, he’s probably panicking because he finally sees you in a different light,”

“Or it could be because he realizes my feeling and thinks I’m gross for getting hard for my own best friend,”

“A gentle reminder that he also jerked off to your thighs, meaning that he also got hard for his own best friend,”

“But he still run away,”

“You can always run after him,”

Jihoon stares at the dark haired boy who has gotten over his surprise and continues slurping his melting ice cream. Noticing Jihoon’s stare, Wonwoo turns to look at the shorter boy.

“What?” He asks, “This is good, don’t you think? It’s about time we end your secret crush on Soonyoung,”

“I’m scared,” Jihoon says.

“Who wouldn’t? You have a crush on one of the densest people in this universe,”

“Stop calling him dumb!” Jihoon hits Wonwoo’s upper arm again.

“Look who’s talking, you’re the one who usually insults his intelligence,”

“I insult him out of love,”

“I wanna puke,”

***

Jihoon never knows that his heart can still break for Soonyoung. This is the second time.

The first time was when Soonyoung said that he had a girlfriend.

The second time is after Jihoon tasted what it feels like to have hope and then have his hope shattered to pieces when he sees Soonyoung walks hand in hand with his supposed to be ex-girlfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

Soonyoung had never been so turned on in his whole life. Watching Jihoon, his supposed to be best friend, writhed under him and called his name when he came shouldn’t turned him on this much. 

When Jihoon passed out that day, Soonyoung had a difficulty to keep his body under control. He kept finding himself imagining the feeling of Jihoon’s legs wrapped around his middle, the moans and gasps that filled his ears, and the eyes locked with his when Jihoon came on his stomach.

It was his fault. He just wanted to see Jihoon wore the stocking one more time, to satisfy his curiosity, to convince himself that it was just the stocking. But the stocking covered legs were only the tip of the iceberg. He found out that Jihoon’s eyes were the most fascinating among all the things that turned him on that day. He never saw Jihoon looked at him that way. He never thought that having Jihoon looked at him that way would feel like this.

Feeling his cock hardened again at the thought of having Jihoon so defenseless under him, Soonyoung scrambled to his feet. He took the stocking and Jihoon’s soiled pants off, replacing his pants with a new pair he found in the shorter boy’s closet.

He felt a shudder ran through his spine when he noticed the red blotches on Jihoon’s thighs as he pulled the pants up. “Fuck,” he mumbled. He couldn’t stay. Not with his current situation. He didn’t want to risk doing something he might regret later. He had risked too much already.

Grabbing a clean towel, Soonyoung wiped the sweat off Jihoon’s forehead and neck. He tried to focus his eyes and mind on the towel and the task at hand. But, he couldn’t help it when his eyes lingered too long on Jihoon’s still slightly flushed face. Just a few minutes ago, Jihoon cupped his face, eyes bored into his, and lips parted with moans of his name. Soonyoung ran his finger on the plump lips. The lips that he suddenly wanted to taste and claim as it gasped his name.

Soonyoung stood up with a jolt.

“No. No. No. Stop getting hard,” Soonyoung groaned as his pants grew tight. He quickly grabbed the soiled clothes and put them into his bag. After throwing a last look to the sleeping boy, Soonyoung ran out of Jihoon’s room.

***

Is it really because of the legs?

Maybe. Soonyoung never thought about why he chose his girlfriends. His first girlfriend was a cute junior from his junior high school. They met again on his first year of high school when he was looking for Jihoon’s birthday present. They exchanged number, talked on the phone, and suddenly they were dating. They broke up not even two months later.

His next girlfriend was his friend from his cram school. Soonyoung was having a difficulty with his studies that his parents decided to put him in a cram school. Coincidentally, Jihoon started having a part time job after school, and Soonyoung could use a distraction. They dated for about three months before they broke up.

There were several other girls in between, but they never last long. Three months at most and the next month, Soonyoung had already found a new girl. The longest he stayed in a relationship was with his last girlfriend. A college girl who lived next door he has known basically for life. 

Soonyoung thought this time it would last longer than his previous relationships considering he knew Chaerin since they were younger. But, Chaerin ended their relationship with the same reasoning as his exes.

“You’re not in love with me, Soonyoung,” Chaerin had said. “Don’t get me wrong. You treated me right, you were dumb yet so kind. But, it was just kindness. It wasn’t love,”

Why would they say it wasn’t love? Soonyoung cared for them, he took them out on dates, he was happy when they were happy. Wasn’t it love?

But, after that day, Soonyoung was completely shaken. His heart had been thumping in his chest frantically. He couldn’t shake off the images of Jihoon’s face and the sound of his moans out of his mind. 

“So damn beautiful. Fuck,” Soonyoung moaned against his pillow as he came for the nth time. It might be true that he had some sort of fetish for legs. But, it was really nothing compared to Jihoon’s look of ecstasy. The lust clouded eyes, flushed cheeks, and red lips were more erotic than anything Soonyoung had ever seen. Not even his exes had ever made him feel this way. To think that it was Lee Jihoon who would be his undoing was unimaginable.

Jihoon was his best friend. They had been together since they were in junior high school. Soonyoung knew how that carefree smile change over the years. How the more people talked, the dimmer the lights were. Soonyoung made it his mission to make the kid who spent his after school in front of the piano in the music club alone smiled just as carefree as he did before.

Jihoon said to him, that he owed Soonyoung his present and future. He would still be the lonely kid in the music club’s room if it wasn’t for Soonyoung.

Soonyoung thought that was why Jihoon always put up with his whims and idiocy.

But after that day, Soonyoung wondered if that was really all.

Lying exhausted on his bed, Soonyoung could still make out the way Jihoon looked at him. The pleads hidden behind the ecstasy. The tiny wisp of wish on each gasp of his name. Soonyoung might be an idiot, but Jihoon had always been stubborn pretending he was okay and for the first time in years, that moment before he closed his eyes, Jihoon looked so vulnerable. 

***

“Now, can you tell me what makes you think that you can skip school and trespass into my dorm?” Junhui crosses his arms in front of his chest as he gives a judging stare at the cocoon of blanket lying on his bed.

Soonyoung only grunts at him. He hears Junhui sighs before the bed dips when Junhui sits down on the side of the bed. “Do you know how worried we were? You don’t even reply to Jihoon’s text or call,”

Right. Jihoon even texted and called him. He must be thinking that Soonyoung ditched him. Soonyoung groans. He might even hate him now.

Needless to say he spent his weekend trying to distract himself from the thought of Jihoon’s lying underneath him. He cleaned the house, helped his mother with the laundry and even cooking, which raised his parents’ concern, but Soonyoung blamed it on his break up with Chaerin.

It was so easy when he broke up with his girlfriends. He had Jihoon by his side. Jihoon felt like home, so close, so comforting. He couldn’t help but return to him whenever he was hurt. He healed him. 

But, when Jihoon is the one at the other end of the stick, Soonyoung doesn’t know where to run.

“Why would you run?”

Soonyoung throws the blanket in surprise to look at Junhui when he heard the question. 

“You said it out loud,” Junhui says before Soonyoung even asks. “So, why?”

Soonyoung bites his bottom lip before saying, “I was already on the school gate before...you know… I saw Jihoon and um…”

“Yes. Usually, you wouldn’t even hesitate to cling to him like a koala,”

“That’s the thing. There’s something wrong with my heart,” Soonyoung says, he takes Junhui’s hand and places it on the top of his chest. “Just seeing his face from that distance was enough to make me almost got a heart attack,”

“Wow, it really takes you a reaaally long time to realize it, huh?”

“Realize what?” Soonyoung asks.

Junhui forcefully takes back his hand, “That you’re a big idiot,”

Soonyoung pouts, “I’m not an idiot,”

“Yeah, sure. If you weren’t, you’d show up at school without making any of us worry for nothing,” He stands up and rummages his bag for his phone, “I’ll call Jihoon and tell him that you’re here,’

“NO! Wait! I’ll--” Soonyoung gulps down the lump in his throat, “I’ll call him,”

Junhui gives him a doubtful look, but puts his phone down.

“Is he mad at me?” Soonyoung asks.

“Like Jihoon could ever get mad at you,”

***

He hasn’t called Jihoon. Yet.

He bolted out of Junhui’s dorm with an excuse that he had something private to discuss with Jihoon and he didn’t want Junhui to listen. But, that was an excuse. Soonyoung doesn’t think he’s ready to face Jihoon.

He has so many questions about Jihoon, and himself. What is actually going on between them that Friday happened? The way Jihoon turns him on, the look on Jihoon’s face and the unspoken words he felt the younger represses. The more he thinks about it, the more he is confused about their relationship. Has it always been this way? Is it really about his fetish? But, why does it have to be Jihoon?

“AARRGH!” Soonyoung yells in frustration.

“You surprised me,” Soonyoung hears a familiar voice in front of him. Chaerin is clutching her chest, looking surprised at his outburst. She looks like she’s just returned from grocery shopping. She has a shopping bag on one hand. It is really inconvenient that they only lived two minutes away from each other.

“Noona…”

“You’re disturbing the neighborhood,” Chaerin scolds him. Her face shows nothing but surprise and little annoyance because of the scare.

“Sorry,” Soonyoung quickly says.

“Good. Bye then,” Chaerin replies as she turns around to continue her walk home. Well, of course it is awkward.

“Noona!” Soonyoung grabs her wrist before she goes to far.

“What the hell, Soonyoung?” Chaerin tries to wrench her wrist off Soonyoung’s grip, but Soonyoung doesn’t let her go. After a few more seconds of futile attempt, with a resigned sigh, Chaerin finally stands still, “What?”

“Uh, when you said I wasn’t in love with you, why did you say that?”

“Really, Soonyoung?” Chaerin asks incredulously, but Soonyoung looks so determined. They stare at each other for few moments before Chaerin asks, “Why do you think?”

“I don’t know. I thought I loved you,”

Chaerin chuckles bitterly, “You thought? Here’s the thing, Kwon. I suddenly feel like a nice noona, so I’m gonna let you in a secret,”

Soonyoung readies his ears and waits for the reason only to hear her says, “Not gonna tell you.”

“Noona!” Soonyoung whines. Chaerin laughs, genuinely this time, just like when they were younger.

“You didn’t think love, Soonyoung. You feel it,” Chaerin ruffles his hair with her free hand. “I said this because after going out with you, I also realized that maybe our feelings are not exactly love between lovers. Do you remember how many times we kissed?”

“Uh…”

“Three times. Once when we decided to go out, once on your birthday, once before we broke up,” Chaerin smiles sadly, “I thought it was weird that you didn’t kiss your girlfriend, but I was also weird that I was fine with it,”

“Noona…”

“So, Soonyoung, do you have someone in mind that you want to kiss, one with whom you feel safe, one you want to run to no matter how far they are?”

His mind is immediately filled with one person. 

“Wait! You actually have someone?” Chaerin asks in surprise once she realizes his expression. Soonyoung blushes.

“No, noona, I can explain…”

“Let me guess! Oh my god, I’m gonna scream if I got this wrong!” Chaerin literally jumps excitedly on her heels. “Jihoon?”

Soonyoung chokes on his saliva. “I’m right? I knew it!” Chaerin cheers.

“What do you mean I knew it?” Soonyoung asks between coughs.

“Why, it’s obvious! There is no one else! If someone could ever make you feel in love, it’d be Jihoon. He’s the only one close enough to you. Even more than I could ever be,” Chaerin smiles. “Took you long enough, though,”

“I’m scared, noona,” Soonyoung mumbles.

“You should be,” Chaerin switches the shopping bag to her other hand and wiggles her wrist out of Soonyoung’s grip to link their fingers together. “Love makes you scared of losing that person. Love makes you treasure that person even more. But, don’t let that stop you from loving him. You know he deserves all the love in the world,”

“He does,” Soonyoung tightens his hold on Chaerin’s hand. “Thank you, noona,”

“I kinda feel jealous. It’s not even a week since we broke up,”

“I’ll treat you to ice cream,”

“Cheap!”

***

“How do you expect me to use your money to go to university when you look like a dying man because you overwork yourself?!” He heard it before the door bursts open and Jihoon raged outside, only to freeze when he sees him.

“Jihoon...”

“Jihoon!” Soonyoung looks pass Jihoon’s shoulder to see Jeonghan in his uniform, long hair untied. He looks tired but the elder seems like he’s getting ready to go out. Jihoon pushes his shoulders before he runs along the hall and disappears down the stairs.

“Hyung…”

“Convincing him that I’m not overworking myself is more tiring than the job itself,” Jeonghan sighs.

“He’s worried about you, hyung,”

“I know,” Jeonghan smiles, “But, I want him to stop putting himself at the second place,” while saying that, Jeonghan gives him a meaningful look. Soonyoung notices the silent threat between his words.

“I’m kinda glad he’s rebelling. It’s about time really. But I wish he believes in me more,” Jeonghan sighs. Soonyoung opens his mouth to say something but decided it is better he doesn’t meddle in the sibling’s affair.

“So, I gotta go to work,” Jeonghan claps his hands, surprising him out of his thought. Jeonghan turns around to take his bag and wear his shoes and then steps out of the house to lock the door, 

“Wait! You’re gonna let Jihoon go just like that?”

“Of course not!” He puts a hand on his shoulder, “You are here, aren’t you? Talk to him?” Jeonghan smiles before leaving him frozen in front of the apartment.

Soonyoung almost groans. He feels like the difficulty of his task has just been upgraded to ten level higher.


	5. Chapter 5

Jihoon feels regret as soon as the night air cools his temper. He is sitting on the playground swing, head clutched on his hands. He shouldn’t have let it out on Jeonghan. He is building stress and Jeonghan is simply pushing all the wrong buttons.

“It’s not like you to let your emotion rules you,” he hears the voice beside him. Jihoon looks up to find Soonyoung sitting on the other swing beside him. The taller boy starts swinging back and forth, dragging his feet on the sand below him.

There swinging beside him, looking so carefree, is the reason Jihoon is building stress in the past few days. He ditched him over the weekend, he skipped school, he also ignored his call and message. After spending the whole day worrying about him, Jihoon also had to witness him walking hand in hand with his supposed to be ex-girlfriend.

He had ran back home looking shaken and stressed which instantly triggered Jeonghan to his mother hen mode, and brought up the university talk which certainly was not even the issue at that moment. In the midst of it all, Jeonghan received a call from the hospital to cover for his friend (again) and Jihoon lost it.

“I heard you before you bursted out of the door,” Soonyoung says and Jihoon instantly tenses. “So, I guess, Jeonghan-hyung doesn’t know about the offer you received from S University?”

“He doesn’t,” Jihoon says, “...and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Soonyoung stops swinging. He doesn’t say anything, but Jihoon could hear the gear in his mind working. “Don’t think too much, you’ll hurt yourself,” Jihoon says, jumping off the swing. He is really not in the mood to talk to Soonyoung. He knows what Soonyoung wants to talk about. He’s been suggesting it the whole summer.

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung calls him, “…won’t you just rely on me this once?”

His eyes looking up to Jihoon as Jihoon stares at him back. “You know my answer already, Soonyoung,”

“But, you want—,”

“Soonyoung!” Jihoon cuts him off. It doesn’t matter what he wants. “I have decided! Just leave me alone!”

Soonyoung frowns, “You know, I won’t.”

“But, you did,” Jihoon chuckles bitterly. He has this tiny hope in his heart that he let grow. In that short time, he let his heart be this vulnerable, to be so easily shattered. Or maybe it never heals in the first place.

Jihoon gulps down the sob that tries to choke him, “So, please, just leave me alone, Soonyoung.”

***

Jihoon kinda wish Soonyoung would run after him last night. He never really want Soonyoung to leave him alone. Because Soonyoung never did. But, for once, the slanted eyes boy really leave him alone.

When he returned home, he called Jeonghan. He knew he was working, but Jihoon was willing to risk it just to apologize. Jeonghan too seemed like he was waiting for the call by the relieved sigh he heard when he picked up the phone. He explained, again, that he only wanted the best for Jihoon.

Jihoon knows it. But, he still remembers the hushed conversations, the pitying gazes of the adults around them. Jihoon also wants the best for Jeonghan.

For the nth time this afternoon, he eyes the envelope he received for the second time this year. It has the same sender as the previous letter. The dean of S University’s art department. Jihoon has sent his formal rejection to the university but it seems they want him to reconsider his decision.

There is nothing to reconsider, Jihoon thinks as he finally approaches the trash bin near the school gate. Hand suspended over the trash bin, envelope held tightly between his fingers. “Jihoon!” Jihoon jolts in surprise hearing the voice, the envelope in his hand falls down into the trash bin. His eyes stay for a few seconds longer than necessary on the spinning lid, a tiny regret sprouts in his heart but guilt quickly stomps the sprouts down.

Jihoon turns around to find Soonyoung approaches him, a frown on his face. Jihoon suppresses the pain he suddenly feels on his chest.

“What was that?” Soonyoung asks as Jihoon avoids his eyes.

“It’s nothing,” Jihoon replies, turning to walk away expecting Soonyoung would follow him. After a few steps and no sound of footsteps following him, Jihoon turns around to see Soonyoung opening the trash bin and picks up the envelope. “Soonyoung!”

“They send you another letter?” Soonyoung reads the cover of the letter, not disturbed by the fact that he just picked up the letter from the trash bin. “And you throw it away?” Soonyoung looks up, looking incredulous.

“It doesn’t change anything. I’m still going to reject it,” Jihoon says, turning to continue walking home. He hears Soonyoung’s footsteps following him, matching up to his pace.

“They still want you to attend?” Soonyoung widens his eyes. Jihoon smacks himself internally for spilling the content. “What do you mean it doesn’t change anything? This is your chance, Jihoon! S University never gives a second chance to those rejecting their offer. But, they send you another offer! That means they recognize your talent! They want you!”

Jihoon stops on his track and glares at the taller boy, “I don’t care, Soonyoung! I’m still not going!”

Soonyoung, unexpectedly, returns his glare, “You don’t care? Do you really? I know you want this! You won’t receive the letter if you don’t send your demo to them! So don’t lie to me saying you don’t want this!”

“So what if I want it then? It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter what I want because I’m not going!” Jihoon pushes Soonyoung out of his way, his eyes blurry but Jihoon keeps walking, swiftly wiping the corner his eyes before Soonyoung notices.

“What the fuck do you mean it doesn’t matter? Is this how you’re gonna treat yourself? You keep pushing good things away from you!”

Jihoon lets out a dry laugh, “I don’t?!” he says glaring to the boy stomping by his side, “I know what I want, Soonyoung, and it’s not university!”

“This letter proves otherwise, Jihoon!” Soonyoung waves the letter in front of his face, “Do you think Jeonghan-hyung will be happy to hear this?”

Jihoon stops again on his track, glare intensifies hearing Soonyoung’s words, “Don’t bring Jeonghan-hyung into this!”

“Why? He deserves to know, he wants you to continue your study!” Soonyoung bites back.

“Don’t you dare, Kwon Soonyoung!” Jihoon threatens. Soonyoung only glares at him back.

“Why not? Are you really trying to be considerate of Jeonghan-hyung? Isn’t this you trying to prove to yourself that you’re not burdening anyone?”

“Kwon Soonyoung! You’re getting out of your line!” Jihoon growls.

“Am I? I just want you to see that you deserve more, Jihoon! If you think Jeonghan-hyung is happy you’re pushing the good things around you, you’re absolutely wrong!”

“Leave me alone, Soonyoung!”

“Why? You asked me to leave you alone but your eyes are begging me to stay! Tell me what you really want! Tell me if you really don’t want me in your life!” Soonyoung yells, “You haven’t changed at all, Lee Jihoon! You pushed people away!”

“AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?!” Jihoon screams, “For years, you treated me like a charity! Someone you want to fix, use, and throw away once you’re done with me! Are you really thinking about me? Isn’t this you wanting to prove that you are good person?!”

Soonyoung looks stunned hearing Jihoon’s words. Jihoon’s regret comes a tad bit later, when Soonyoung barks a bitter laugh. “Are you really thinking that low about me?”

Jihoon trembles in his spot.

“Right. I was trying to be a good person,” Soonyoung runs his fingers through his hair. His voice strained when he says, “I spent the whole weekend, yesterday, and even last night, thinking about us, about what you mean to me, about my feeling for you,”

“But, I see. This is how you see me,” Soonyoung smiles bitterly.

Jihoon’s eyes shake at words, “No. Soonyoung…”

“I—,” frustration apparent in his voice, his smile drops and his next sentence is as cold as the cold winter, “Do whatever you want, Lee Jihoon. If you don’t want to be happy, then be it. Don’t come crying to me later on!” Soonyoung throws the letter to his feet, turning away leaving Jihoon frozen on his spot.

***

When he arrives home, Jihoon never expects to see the lights on. Jeonghan is in the kitchen, happily whistling to a song as he washes the dishes. Jihoon feels his heart clenches painfully in his chest.

 _Don’t come crying to me later on._ Soonyoung’s words repeated on his mind. The cold tone he used to say Jihoon’s name pierce his heart so deeply and Jihoon does something to Jeonghan he never thought he could initiate willingly.

Jeonghan yelps, surprised when he feels a pair of arms circles his waist and a face buried on his back. “Jihoon? Welcome back?” Jeonghan takes off the rubber gloves of his hands and Jihoon feels his cold hands on his skin.

“What happened?” Jeonghan asks, worry laces his tone. Jihoon tightens his hold around Jeonghan’s waist for a second, burying his face deeper on Jeonghan’s warm sweater.

“Did I make you unhappy, hyung?” Jihoon mumbles against his back.

“What? Who said that to you?” Jeonghan is startled and tries to pry Jihoon’s arms off, but the younger only tightens his hold around his waist. Jeonghan stays in his position, turning his head so that he can at least see the mop of Jihoon’s hair, “Jihoon, you know you never make me unhappy. You’re so unproblematic that I’m worried if I raise you right,”

Jihoon pinches Jeonghan’s stomach causing the older to yelp. “I’ll kick anyone who said you didn’t raise me right,”

He hears Jeonghan laughs, “Ooh, my baby brother wants to protect his hyung,” Jeonghan coos only to receive another pinch on his stomach. Jeonghan laughs again before it dies down, a solemn but comforting atmosphere envelopes them.

“Jihoon, seriously, what happened?” Jeonghan asks, rubbing Jihoon’s arms that circles his stomach. Jihoon tightens his arms around Jeonghan for another second before relaxing.

“So, is it okay if I cause you some troubles?”

“I mean, as long as it’s not involving illegal stuff and us going to prison, I’m all for it,” Jeonghan assures Jihoon.

Jihoon lets Jeonghan go and the elder turns around. Jihoon feels his stare on the top of his head. Jihoon heaves a breath before opening his bag, taking the university letter out for Jeonghan.

“And this is…?” Jeonghan raises his eyebrows. But Jihoon just encourages him to read it. Jeonghan opens the letter, his eyes widen as he reads through it. “Oh my god! Lee Jihoon!”

“…’we would like you to reconsider’…” Jihoon braces himself to hear Jeonghan’s scream, “DID YOU FUCKING REJECT THEIR OFFER?!”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! LEE JIHOON! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Jeonghan yells, Jihoon closes his eyes, “YOU LUCKY LITTLE THING! I’m so happy they still want you to attend! Jihoon! Oh god, I’m so happy!” Jeonghan immediately hugs Jihoon, crushing Jihoon with his arms. “I’m so proud of you! I know that not wanting to go to university is bullshit! Oh, god, Jihoon!”

“I can finally see you go to the university! Mom and Dad must be so proud of you!” Jeonghan is beaming with happiness. Jihoon has never seen him so happy. So happy just because Jihoon is going to university. Just because of something that Jihoon did.

Then Soonyoung’s face flashes before his eyes and Jihoon feels his heart crushed. He doesn’t even realize the tears falling freely down his cheeks until Jeonghan fusses over him, panic apparent on his face. “Jihoon, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Soonyoung is right. He thinks he is being considerate, but he is just pushing good things away because he is afraid he will get hurt. He doesn’t want to continue university because he doesn’t want to hear people talked about how pitiful Jeonghan had to work so hard for the both of them.

He heard enough the first year their parents died, when Jeonghan insisted to take him and raise him by himself. He was so scared Jeonghan would listen to what those people said and finally threw him away. Jeonghan might never know, but Jihoon is forever grateful Jeonghan still wanted to raise him even though they are not even related by blood.

Jihoon sobs to Jeonghan’s chest, “Hyung, I’m so sorry,”

Jeonghan run his fingers through his hair, cradling his head in his chest. “You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Why are you sorry?”

“For everything, for ever making you think you didn’t raise me right, for making you worry about my future, for being a burden for you all this time…”

Jeonghan pushes Jihoon an arms away, “You’re never a burden, Lee Jihoon! You’re the best thing that Dad ever give to me! Marrying your mother was the best decision he ever made in his life. I’m so happy to have you as my brother!” by the time Jeonghan stops talking, he is also bawling.

“When they—,“ Jeonghan hiccups, “When they died, I don’t know what I should do. I was so lost, but then, I remember I have you. I remember that you were also there, going through the same thing as I was, maybe even worse because Mom was the only blood related family that you have. You were so young, you lost both of your parents. You were my strength, Jihoon. Don’t ever think you are burdening me,”

Jihoon cries harder in Jeonghan’s arms. It has been so long since the last time they talk about their parents, but this is the first time Jeonghan said all those words. Jihoon never felt so relieved to know that Jeonghan feels the same way about him, because to him, Jeonghan is also the best gift his parents has given him.

They cry in each other arms for almost half an hour. When their cries reduced to small hiccups, Jihoon pushes himself away from Jeonghan. “That was intense,” Jeonghan says. Jihoon chokes on his tears as he laughs at what the elder said.

“I never imagined that you’d hug me so willingly,” Jeonghan sniffs, dabbing Jihoon’s puffy eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “Can I get another one?” Jeonghan opens his arms as an invitation.

He obviously thought Jihoon was going to decline him when he squeals as Jihoon slips his arms around his waist again. “Dad, Mom, your son has finally become a softie,”

Jihoon pinches Jeonghan’s side and the elder yelps but laughs as he tightens his arms around Jihoon’s smaller body. “I’m so glad you finally decide to go. I should have expected that your problem can’t be considered a problem at all,”

Jihoon tenses in Jeonghan’s arms before he takes a calming breath. It’s not the only thing he wants to say to Jeonghan.

“Hyung?”

“Hm?” Jeonghan hums, still swaying their bodies back and forth.

“I love Soonyoung,”

Jeonghan pushes Jihoon an arms away once again, “You what?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have actually finished writing the last chapter (more or less), but I wonder if I should write another chapter or just wrap this up in the next chapter. Please let me know your thoughts :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Jeonghan is obviously holding back from saying, “What the fuck did you see in that playboy?”, but there is also a look of understanding on his face. Which is why after Jihoon repeats that he loves Soonyoung, his brother sighs and says, “Of course you love him. He’s been here for the longest time,”

“Yeah,” Jihoon answers softly. After their parents’ death, while Jeonghan was busy his part time jobs, Kwon Soonyoung was the one bringing the light back into his life. They were best friends, Soonyoung knew how devastated he was when his parents died, he knew how he felt like a burden to Jeonghan, he knew how Jihoon held himself back from wanting anything because he had received so much from both Jeonghan and Soonyoung.

Soonyoung pulled Jihoon back up, repeatedly assuring him that he deserved Jeonghan, that he deserved his brother’s love. Soonyoung protected him from the people who spoke ill of him and Jeonghan. Everything Soonyoung had done for him, everything he had put up with, Jihoon had taken it for granted.

“Wh-why are you crying again?” Jeonghan cradles his face, softly swiping the tears running down his cheeks.

“I hurt him, hyung,” Jihoon sobs, “I push him away,”

“Oh, Jihoon,” Jeonghan pulls him into his arms. Jihoon clutches the back of Jeonghan’s shirt, crying his heart out on his brother’s chest.

“I don’t want to lose him, hyung. I love him,” Jihoon cries, muffled on Jeonghan’s shirt.

“Sshh, it would be okay,” Jeonghan strokes his hair, “It would be okay,”

***

Jihoon closes the door of their apartment as he steps out to the chilly morning. Jihoon cried himself to sleep last night. Jeonghan had stayed with him the whole night before he had to leave for his morning shift.

It is still dark outside since the dawn has yet to break. Jihoon tightens the jacket around himself, glad he is wearing a pair of black thighs under his short pants when the wind send another chilly air. Rubbing his puffy eyes, he walks down the stairs, thinking that taking a short walk around the neighborhood will help him ease his mind before he has to confront Soonyoung.

Knowing the older boy, he will skip school because he doesn’t want to see Jihoon. The jolt of pain forces him to run. He pushes his feet to move as fast as possible until his lungs give out. He doesn’t care that his legs are begging him to stop when he circles the block for another 10 minutes.

When he arrives in front of the apartment building again, Jihoon is gasping for hair, his feet screams in agony as he climbs up the stair. His body is drenched with sweat, which quickly cooled down by the chilly air.

He groans as he reaches the last stair only to freeze when he sees who’s sitting in the front  of the door of the apartment. His heart thumps painfully in his chest as he approaches the figure leaning his back against the wall, legs sprawled across the hall, and head lolled against his chest. 

“Hey,” Jihoon croaks, “You’re gonna trip someone with your legs,” he continues, nudging Soonyoung’s leg with his foot. Soonyoung looks up to him.

“God, you look horrible,” Soonyoung comments. Jihoon turns away, busying himself with opening the apartment door.

“You don’t look any better,” Jihoon mumbles. Soonyoung’s eyes has disappeared under the puffy skin. He definitely didn’t sleep.

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon asks as he opens the door. 

“Can’t sleep,” Soonyoung answers.

Jihoon steps in to the apartment and Soonyoung swiftly follows. Jihoon gives him a judging look.

“It’s cold,” Soonyoung shrugs his shoulders.

Jihoon wants to roll his eyes, but he is tired, and he has some trouble with how hard his heart is beating. He suddenly doesn’t want to hear what Soonyoung is doing here. He can’t bear it. Not so suddenly.

“Soon-,”

“I’m sorry.” Soonyoung cuts him before he could say anything. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean of me,”

Jihoon swallows the lump in his throat. He feels his eyes burn. He shouldn’t cry. Don’t.

“I talked to Jeonghan-hyung,” Jihoon starts. They are still standing behind the front door. “You’re right. I’m just an egoistic little bitch.”

“Jihoon—,” Jihoon raises his hand to stop Soonyoung from saying anything.

“I pushed good things away because I was afraid that once I tasted what it was like to have something that I want in my hands, I would want more,” Jihoon looks up to the older boy who wears a regretful expression in front of him. He knows Soonyoung is regretting his words, but Jihoon has to admit that Soonyoung is right. He has his fair share of mean words too.  “I’m afraid that once I had it in my arms, it would be taken away from me,”

“I’m scared that I would be hurt. I’m scared that I would return to the days where I just lost my parents,” Jihoon clenches his palms. “Back then, I had you,”

“You still have me,” Soonyoung quickly answers.

“But I want you. More than a friend, more than just a best friend. I want everything about you,” Jihoon gulps down the lump in this throat, his vision is blurry, “I’m scared you would leave me.”

As his tears drips down his cheeks, Soonyoung has closed the gap between them. He gathers Jihoon in his arms, “I told you, I will never leave you,” he mumbles against the top of his head. Jihoon breathes in the scent that is Soonyoung and feels himself calming down significantly just by being surrounded by Soonyoung’s warmth.

“Didn’t you get back together with Chaerin-noona?” He sniffs, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

“Huh? I didn’t. Who tell you that?” Soonyoung puts him at arm’s length. 

“I saw you holding hands with her when I went to your house on Monday,”

“Please don’t tell me you think I left you because I got back together with her,”

Jihoon turns his eyes to anything but Soonyoung.

“Sometimes, I really think you’re dumber than me,” Soonyoung shakes his head in disbelief. “No, I didn’t get back together with her. Do you really think I can do that after all the stuff we did on Friday?”

“You went MIA on me and when I threw away my pride to check on you, I saw you with her, what was I supposed to think?” He glares at the taller boy.

“That I might be in love with you so I’m taking my time to panic and think?”

“You what?!” Jihoon gasps in surprise.

“I love you,” Soonyoung repeats resolutely. “I’m sorry to make you wait,”

Jihoon clutches Soonyoung’s shirt tightly to stop his hands from trembling. “Do you know what you’re talking about?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung raises his eyebrows in confusion when he sees Jihoon’s reaction. “You don’t believe me?”

“How could I? You’re literally straight last week,”

“You forgot what happened next. I’m sure you are a boy,” Soonyoung’s eyes flickers down Jihoon’s body.

Jihoon stops himself from blushing, “You’re just curious. It’s not love,”

“I thought we have passed the stage where you push people away?” 

“I’m not pushing you away! I just--It’s hard to believe, Soonyoung!” Jihoon exasperates, “It was your first time with a boy, of course you would be curious. You could mistake your curiosity with love,”

“Wow. I never thought rejection would hurt this much,” Soonyoung clutches his chest. Jihoon wants to roll his eyes at the older boy’s drama. Soonyoung straightens his back, “Okay. Listen, Lee Jihoon. Firstly, yes, it was my first time with a boy or should I say with anyone? Because hey, did I tell you that I never go past kisses with my exes?”

“You don’t?”

“Hard to believe? Of course, you guys always think I’m that playboy who always think with his dick,”

“Are you picking a fight with me?”

Soonyoung ignores Jihoon’s comment, “Secondly, Lee, have you ever thought why I always look for you whenever I broke up with my exes?”

“Because you’re an annoying clingy bastard?”

“Are you picking a fight with me?”

“You did it first,”

They look at each other defiantly before both broke a smile, relieved that their banter remains unchanging.

“I’m glad you didn’t say I was using you. Though, you’re maybe just too kind to say it.” Soonyoung smiles. Jihoon grabs Soonyoung’s hands, feeling his chest constricted painfully when he remembers his words yesterday.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,”

“I know. I said some mean words too after all,” Soonyoung squeezes Jihoon’s fingers in assurance. “Like I said, there is a reason why I always look for you and why it took a very long time for me to realize it,”

“You’re my home, Lee Jihoon. A place where I feel the safest and the most comfortable. All these years, I thought you put up with me because you thought you owe me something,”

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon frowns, “You know I don’t,”

“I know. I was stupid.” Soonyoung smiles somberly, “I always dismissed my feeling for you because you are my best friend. You are so close and so familiar that I failed to see how you feel about me and how I feel about you.”

The warmth surrounding his fingers tightens for a second before Soonyoung continues, “Then, Friday happened. It was a whole new side that I have never seen. I probably scared my parents by how diligent I was last weekend. I even helped my mom with the laundry and cleaning.”

“No way! You hate cleaning!”

“Go ask mom if you don’t believe me,” Soonyoung chuckles, “I have given it much thought, Jihoon. Believe me. I’m not going to mistake this feeling again, this time it is real. I know it won’t be easy for you to believe me, but I’m willing to take it slow and I promise you, I won’t ever leave you.”

“I still can’t believe you helped your mom cleaning,” Jihoon shakes his head.

“I said a bunch of other important things, but you decided to comment on that?” Soonyoung squints his eyes. Jihoon holds back his smile.

“I mean, you would do anything to avoid cleaning and there you were helping your mom cleaned and even cooked,”

“Do you know how hard it was to keep my mind off of you? Every time I closed my eyes, all I could think about was the way you looked at me, the way you called my name, and how…” Soonyoung’s eyes flickers to Jihoon’s lips, “...would it feel to kiss you,”

His heart has been thumping like crazy since Soonyoung said he was his home. He doesn’t think it could go any faster, but the way Soonyoung’s eyes remains a second too long on his lips just speeds up his racing heartbeat into another frenzy. Jihoon reflexively peeks at Soonyoung’s plump lips. “Soonyoung…” Jihoon looks back up to find Soonyoung’s eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Soonyoung asks softly.

For the first time, since they first met, he sees how nervous Soonyoung is when he waits for Jihoon’s answer. The overly confident and pushy Soonyoung, looking so nervous just to kiss him. His chest feels like it’s about to burst.

“Are you really going to stay with me?”

“You can count on me,”

“Even when I push you away?”

“Are you going to push me away?”

“No. You’re stuck with me,” Jihoon wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s middle.

“Nice,” Soonyoung smiles, hands cradling Jihoon’s face, “So, can I?”

Their lips are just a breath away when Jihoon whispers, “Yeah.”

***

Soonyoung remembered how Jeonghan cried in Jihoon’s arms at their parents’ funeral. He remembered listening to the adults talking about Jeonghan’s rash decision to raise Jihoon by himself. About how it would be better for Jeonghan to leave Jihoon’s in the orphanage since they were not even related by blood. He remembered how they talked about how heartless Jihoon was because the kid didn’t even cry when their parents’ caskets were lowered into the cold ground.

But, they never knew how Jihoon locked himself in the empty music club room every day since then. When he thought nobody was listening, the boy played a song his mother used to play with him on the piano. He would stay in the club room until the security guard told him to go home because he knew there was nobody at home.

Soonyoung remembered the cold stare and harsh words that replaced the humorous and snarky remarks the younger boy used to tease him with. It took Soonyoung months for Jihoon to lower his guard around him, to let Soonyoung into his loneliness and brought him back to the world. 

He remembered the late night during the study tour on their second year, his lips split after he punched (and getting punched in return) an idiot who carelessly spoke about Jihoon’s messy kimbap and warm tears wetting his shirt as Jihoon trembled in his arms, crying for the first time ever since their parents passed away. “I miss them, Soonyoung. I miss them so much. I don’t want Jeonghan-hyung to leave me,”

Soonyoung remembered how his heart felt like it was being shredded as Jihoon cried. He hushed him, told him it was okay, that Jeonghan would never leave him, that Soonyoung would never leave him. That he deserved all the good things the world offered him.

He remembered how Jihoon looked up to him, his lips trembling, eyes puffy and wet with tears where a whole universe, dim at first, shone bright with the tiniest hope. He remembered the slightest smile he had not seen for months painted the pale face and Soonyoung might have forgotten, how at that time he thought that Jihoon looked so beautiful.

***

Soonyoung gasps as he opens his eyes. The details of his dream start to wane quickly from his mind, but he can still remember the feeling and the last thought that crossed his mind before he woke up. 

He lies unmoving on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, before he inhales a deep breath and scolds himself quietly, “What a fucking idiot,”.

“I hope you’re talking about yourself,” Soonyoung jolts when he hears a voice beside him. His heart skips a beat when he sees Jihoon lying on his side, eyes fluttering open and lips parted as he yawns. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” Soonyoung murmurs.

Jihoon stops mid yawn, “Are you an idiot?” He mumbles, but his cheeks betray him. Soonyoung relishes on the way the pink color seeps into the pale skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Are you really going to ask every time?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung caresses Jihoon’s left cheek with his hand, “I dreamed about the night of our study tour in junior high school,”

“When Jaebong punched your face because your idiot ass thought you could win against him?”

“I was trying to impress you,”

“I know he was making fun of my lunch box, Soonyoung,” Jihoon covers the hand on his cheek. “I was glad he did. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here,”

“Nah,” Soonyoung shakes his head, “Even if Jaebong didn’t make fun of your lunch box and I didn’t punch him for it, we would still be here.” 

Jihoon raises his eyebrows.

“Because, even back then, I probably liked you more than I thought I did.” Soonyoung smiles, “I couldn’t see myself giving up,”

“Yeah, you’re pushy and clingy as fuck after all,” Jihoon smiles back at him.

“Wonwoo and Junhui are going to roast us tomorrow. We ditched school again today,” Soonyoung yawns, smoothly pulling the instantly tensing Jihoon into his arms. Soonyoung gives him a teasing smirk and Jihoon rolls his eyes.

“YOU ditched school again today,” Jihoon corrects him. “We’re lucky today’s classes were mostly self study,”

“Which means I would be sleeping in class anyway. So why go to school?” Soonyoung shrugs, making himself comfortable against Jihoon’s pillow.

“Because we need to graduate, idiot.” Jihoon pinches Soonyoung’s cheek.

“Ouch ouch ouch! Jihoon!” Soonyoung pries Jihoon’s fingers off his cheek. “That hurts,” Soonyoung pouts.

Jihoon rolls his eyes before he leans in and presses his lips on Soonyoung’s cheeks, stunning the slanted eyed boy as he stares at Jihoon’s reddening cheeks. “My lips hurt, Jihoon,” He says.

“Idiot!” Jihoon pushes his face away but he leaves a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips before he runs out of his room. 

Soonyoung lies on the empty bed for a second, feeling electrified the moment Jihoon’s lips touched his, before he sighs, a smile blooms on his face, “Fuck. So cute,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still thinking about the bonus chapter :) But, that might take a while so here you go.  
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos. Also thank you so so so much for the kind comments. I'll see you on another story!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it!

It was a month after their reconciliation. At that time, Jihoon had flinched when Soonyoung’s fingers tried to pull his pants off. Their heated kiss stopped abruptly as Jihoon gripped Soonyoung’s wrist.

He was overwhelmed. They mostly kissed, they barely even touched each other, but it was enough to make him feeling lightheaded. His body was burning and his breath was raging. He was not ready to see Soonyoung naked on top of him. He would get a heart attack before they could even do anything.

At that time, he would never imagine that he would regret finding his voice to gasp, “Soonyoung...can we...can we take it slow?”

Jihoon had thought Soonyoung would charm his way in (because he was sure he wouldn’t be able to resist him if he did), but unlike their first time, there wasn’t any hesitation in Soonyoung’s face when he promptly cradled Jihoon’s face in his hands as he said against his lips, “Yeah, sure. Anything for you,”

When he said that, Jihoon never thought that Soonyoung would actually stopped trying. They did kiss. They did touch each other. There were countless times when they locked themselves inside Soonyoung’s room or his to jerk each other off, breaths mingled and needy gasps exchanged between puffy lips. But, as soon as they came on each other’s hands, Soonyoung would pull away, a smile on his face as he grabbed a handful of tissues to wipe their mess.

With graduation coming up and how busy they were with university’s entrance ceremony and induction, the probability of them actually moving passed jerking off session had slowly dropped to zero.

It got even lower once they graduated. They decided to live in a share house along with Junhui and Wonwoo. Jihoon had dismissed the idea of even less chance for him to do anything with Soonyoung for a cheaper option of living arrangement. Even though Jeonghan had happily moved in with his chef boyfriend (finally), Jihoon wanted to save as much as possible to reduce his brother’s burden.

But, that also meant no touching below the waist when Junhui and Wonwoo were sleeping next door.

Until today.

Junhui is visiting his parents in China since last week and Wonwoo suddenly announced that his reading club is having a three days workshop. They were home alone when Wonwoo brought out his backpack and told him that he would be at the workshop for the next three days.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, “I’ve told you last week. It’s your fault for never really listening to me when you’re working,”

“Have you told Soonyoung?”

“I was expecting you to tell him. I haven’t seen him all week,” Wonwoo said after he finished tying his shoelaces and stood up. “Now, I kinda feel bad for him,” he continued, a teasing smile on his face.

“Why?” Jihoon raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“He was trying so hard,” Wonwoo said, grabbing his backpack on the floor, “To keep his hands off of you,”

“What are you blabbering about?” Jihoon frowned. If anything, it was Jihoon who held himself back. Soonyoung had always looked content with only cuddles and kisses while Jihoon tried to steer his mind off dirty thoughts as his boyfriend fell asleep in his arms.

“I really think Soonyoung’s stupidity rubbed off on you,” Wonwoo rolled his eyes, “Why do you think he is always so busy these days?”

“He is a freshman? He needs to keep up with his major’s pace,”

“Well yeah, that’s one reason. But he doesn’t have to try so hard, does he? We can hear praises everywhere whenever we dropped by his campus,”

It’s true. Soonyoung’s peers have said nothing but praise for Soonyoung. He is passionate, hard working and talented. He is one of the best dancers in S University’s dance major. Even with the acknowledgement, Soonyoung is still working hard to be better at his studies.

“Plus,” Wonwoo smirked, “I also caught him running away to his room red faced when he saw you out of the bathroom with that super short pants last week,” his smirk turned to full blown laugh when Jihoon blushed.

“Remember to lock the door. Don’t let Soonyoung near the kitchen...Oh right!” Wonwoo turned around before he opened the front door. Squinting his eyes, though his teasing smirk was still in place, he pointed his finger to Jihoon’s face.

“Whatever you decide to do when we’re not home, do it in your rooms! I will kill you both if you dare to dirty the living room or kitchen!” Wonwoo said before he slammed the door in front of Jihoon’s burning face.

Jihoon had thought that Soonyoung lose interest in him. He was trying hard not to think that way because Soonyoung had been nothing but sweet towards him. Their relationship was going smoothly and if he wanted to compare their relationship with Soonyoung’s previous relationship, what they have now is much stronger. But if he remembered how Soonyoung said he never went pass kisses with his exes, he couldn’t help but wonder if their relationship would have the same ending.

But if what Wonwoo said was true, now that he knew he would spend the next three days alone with Soonyoung, Jihoon had to do something. He had to. It had been months and he couldn’t just let these three days go to waste.

***

“I’m home,” Soonyoung yells as he closes the front door. He takes his shoes off and places it on the shoe racks. He steps into the hallway and frowns when nobody answers him. When they talked this morning, Jihoon said he would be home.

“Jihoo~n,” Soonyoung whines when he notices the sound of running water from the bathroom. The sound of the shower stops before Jihoon’s voice emerges through the door, “Soonyoung?”

“Why aren’t you answering me~?” Soonyoung gently knocks on the door. He is sure Jihoon is rolling his eyes behind the door.

“I’m showering, if you haven’t noticed,” He hears Jihoon answers, “Go eat something first. I’ll be done in a minute,”

“No, I already ate. Our trainer treated us after practice,” Soonyoung says, dropping on the couch after throwing his bag somewhere behind him. “I’m tired, Jihoon. Let’s cuddle!”

“Idiot,” Soonyoung hears a soft mumble and the sound of the shower getting turned back on. He giggles because he can picture Jihoon gets embarrassed behind the door.

Closing his eyes, he lets himself relax on the couch, waiting for his boyfriend to finish his shower. “Should we watch something?” Soonyoung asks and he only hears an incomprehensible mumble of yes from behind the door. Raising his eyebrows, Soonyoung moves to set up the living room.

After taking out their pillows and blankets, Soonyoung settles on the couch, munching on some chips he found in the kitchen. While flipping through the movie catalogues, Soonyoung hears the bathroom door creaks open. “Where is Wonwoo? I thought both of you have the day off?”

Jihoon’s voice sounds clearer now that he is out of the shower. “He has a workshop with his reading club.”

“Suddenly?” Soonyoung turns and almost chokes when he sees his boyfriend. Jihoon is wearing his favorite oversized knit sweater with a pair of a really short pants that doesn’t even reach the middle of his thighs. He almost misses Jihoon’s answer as his eyes oggles the exposed skin greedily.

“He told me last week, but I forgot about it.” Jihoon approaches him, casually flopping down beside him. Soonyoung holds his breath when Jihoon snuggles his side, making himself comfortable against his chest. His dark hair is still damp from his shower and Soonyoung is captivated with the way it contrast against Jihoon’s pale skin.

“What are we going to watch?” Jihoon asks, looking up to him, his cheeks slightly flushed.

“Huh?” Soonyoung unintelligibly asks.

His brain has short circuited ever since he saw Jihoon walked out of the bathroom, but that doesn’t stop the realization that they will be home alone for three days. A part of him cheers that they can finally have time for themselves, but another part of him dreads the painful consequences of having to control himself around his boyfriend. The way Jihoon dressed is by no means helping in any way right now. He can feel a hard on coming.

Jihoon snatches the remote out of his hand, “What are you daydreaming about?”

Soonyoung’s breath hitches when Jihoon slides his pale foot on top of his. He kinda regrets wearing short pants. Jihoon’s skin feels smooth against his. As Jihoon chooses their movie, Soonyoung softly asks, “Does it mean that we’ll be home alone for three days?”

“Yep,” Jihoon answers as he scoots closer and by the time Soonyoung realizes the static tv screen, Jihoon has settled between his thighs. His back presses against Soonyoung’s thumping chest. “Are we still going to watch the movie?”

Soonyoung inhales a deep breath, only to stiffen when the scent of Jihoon’s shampoo assault his nose. Fuck. He really loves the way Jihoon smell after shower. His cock twitches inside his pants. He can’t do this.

But, before he can make any excuse to avoid the situation, Jihoon surprises him by suddenly turning around. The younger boy quickly straddles his lap, trapping him with his fair thighs. “Wha-Jihoon!”

“You’re ridiculous,” Jihoon shakes his head in disbelief, “It used to make you hard in seconds. Am I no longer attractive to you?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“We’re home alone, aren’t you going to touch me?” Jihoon rolls his hips slowly against his quickly hardening cock.

“What the fuck, Lee?” Soonyoung grips Jihoon’s thighs to stop him from grinding harder. His fingers tingle, finally feeling the soft skin of Jihoon’s thighs after all this time.

“Stop holding yourself back,” Jihoon whispers against his left ear. Soonyoung shudders. “I want to feel you...” Jihoon pulls back, eyes staring right into his. He grabs his hands and Soonyoung almost moans when Jihoon places it on his ass, “...inside me,”

“Where did you learn that?” Soonyoung gasps as Jihoon takes off his shirt.

“Desperate situations require desperate measures,” Jihoon smiles, his eyes taking in the view below him. “It’s been so long since I actually see you shirtless,”

“And you call that a desperate situation?” Soonyoung muses. He internally coos when Jihoon pouts in response.

“Yes. Because you don’t seem to want me as much as I want you,”

“My resolve is crumbling simply because I saw your thighs. If that doesn’t show how much I want you, I don’t know what else,” Soonyoung runs his hands up and down Jihoon’s exposed thighs.

“Wow, I would never relate Kwon Soonyoung with resolve,” Jihoon teases.

“Me too. I’m surprised I hold back this long,”

Jihoon smiles at him before leaning in to kiss him square on the lips. “Thank you. I appreciate that,”

“You’re welcome,” Soonyoung returns the kiss chastely before tightening his hold on Jihoon’s thighs, “So, can I touch you?”

Jihoon moans against his lips, lewdly grinding down on him. “Yes. Touch me, fuck me, wreck me. Please,”

“I thought you were shy!” Soonyoung fake a surprised gasp only to chuckle when Jihoon bites his bottom lip in warning.

“Stop teasing me!” Jihoon pouts.

“Maybe holding back is worth it after all,” Soonyoung slides his right hand up to Jihoon’s plump butt and rewarded with a keen moan, “You’re so needy right now,” he continues while pressing Jihoon’s hard on.

“I believe I’m not the only one,” Jihoon palms the bulge between his legs, grinning cheekily when Soonyoung groans.

Soonyoung quickly switches their position, laying Jihoon on the soft blanket under them, feeling his heart rate spikes up in witnessing how breathless Jihoon is with just a simple kiss and touch. Soonyoung carefully parts Jihoon’s legs, feeling the smooth thigh with his fingers, relishing on the sight of Jihoon obediently letting him settle between his legs.

Pressing his lower body against Jihoon’s, Soonyoung leans down whispering against the younger boy’s lips. “Do you want me to take it slow?”

“I said that the first time and look how long it takes you to do anything,”

“I’m being careful. I don’t want to force you,” Soonyoung says.

Jihoon’s eyes soften at the words. “I know. It’s my fault. I wasn’t ready to see you naked on top of me,”

“That’s why you want me to slow down?” Soonyoung asks incredulously.

Jihoon blushes, “I have a crush on you for years, remember? It’s...unbearably hot...it’s so different from what I had imagined,”

Soonyoung shudders. His cock twitches in excitement as he thinks about Jihoon had imagined them in this position. “Hmm? Tell me how did it go in your imagination,”

Jihoon’s face reddens in an instant. “Are you kidding me? No, I’m not gonna tell you,”

“Please?” Soonyoung licks the column of Jihoon’s neck as Jihoon stiffles his moan. “Come on. You just have to describe it for me,”

Soonyoung thought Jihoon wouldn’t tell him, but a few seconds later, in short gasps, Jihoon starts, “You kissed me,” Soonyoung pulls himself up to see the blushing boy then smiles before leaning down, capturing the trembling lips in a gentle kiss. “Your hands…” Jihoon mumbles, “...under my shirt,”

Soonyoung follows Jihoon’s words, improvising as he goes higher, flicking the hardening nipples. “Should I take off the sweater?”

“No! I love wearing your sweater,”

Soonyoung growls possessively. “What’s next?”

“You teased my nipples,” Jihoon whispers. Soonyoung lifts the sweater higher to expose the perk nipples.

“I don’t know you like your nipples teased,” Soonyoung mumbles against Jihoon’s exposed chest, before claiming the hardened bud. Jihoon moans in response, his back arching. Soonyoung fingers flick on the other nipple as he sucks and lightly bites on the bud in his mouth. He can smell the body wash on Jihoon’s skin, it turns him on as much as Jihoon’s moans. He gives the other nipple the same treatment before grinding their hips together, his cock desperate for friction, growling against the perk nipple, “Next?”

“Haa...you take off my pants,” Jihoon gasps as Soonyoung immediately pulls the pants off, leaving his lower region naked in front of Soonyoung’s greedy eyes.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung mumbles, fondling his straining pants as he takes in the sight of Jihoon’s leaking cock. “You’re so hard,”

Jihoon reaches out his hands and circles his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulders, pulling him closer, “...then, you put your fingers in me. You prepared me, one finger, two fingers, you can even put four, because I want to take everything. Your hard cock, all of it.”

Soonyoung could see his control thinning out in front of his eyes as he growls, fingers blindly searching for the already loose opening, “My God, Lee Jihoon. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,”

He hears Jihoon’s breathy chuckle on top of him as he groans, feeling his fingers sink into Jihoon’s ass. “How much did you prepare yourself?”

“Since you arrive, I can fit four,” Jihoon moans, hips twitching as Soonyoung widens his opening.

Soonyoung groans, rutting his leaking hard cock against Jihoon’s thighs.

“I don’t think I can last long,” Soonyoung moans, “You didn’t even mention your thighs,”

“It’s okay. I don’t think I can last either,” Jihoon circles his legs around Soonyoung’s middle, “We have three days, you can take me as much as you want,”

That was the last string. Soonyoung doesn’t know he can move that fast. He takes off his pants and almost cheers when Jihoon throws him a bottle of lube. “You’re really desperate, aren’t you?” Soonyoung chuckles.

“I am,” Jihoon opens his legs wider, exposing his drenched gaping hole. Soonyoung shudders as he strokes his cock, coating the straining staff thoroughly, all the while keeping his eyes on Jihoon’s lust filled eyes.

“Ready?”

“Fuck yes!” and Soonyoung plunges into the welcoming heat. Jihoon releases a keen moan. His inside gripping his cock tightly. Soonyoung clutches the blanket below them as tries to control himself. Jihoon feels so good around him.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good around me,” Soonyoung moans, hips twitching from the strain. “I can’t believe I waited so long for this. Can I move?”

“Yes!” Jihoon gasps. Soonyoung groans as he starts thrusting his cock shallowly into the opening.

Jihoon mewls under him, his fingers gripping his wrists, and as he goes faster, the mewls turns to moans. He watches Jihoon closes his eyes, brows furrowed as his inside clenches his cock. It feels so damn good. Soonyoung moans, latching himself on the column of Jihoon’s neck, marking the fair skin, drinking the moans and relishing on the feeling of Jihoon tightening his hold around his cock on each mark.

“Soonyoung, nngh!” Jihoon arches his back when he shifts his thrust.

“That’s it?” Soonyoung grunts. Jihoon’s only response is his crescending moans, but from the way he twists his body and claws on the blanket under him, Soonyoung must have hit his prostate. Vigorously, Soonyoung starts thrusting his cock even faster into Jihoon’s tightening hole.

“Oh, God, Soonyoung!” Jihoon gasps, “I’m coming,”

“Yeah, baby. Me too,” Soonyoung caresses the younger boy’s cheek. “Jihoon, open your eyes,”

It’s almost like Jihoon doesn’t hear him, but when Jihoon finally opens his eyes, the fire at the pit of his stomach explodes. Jihoon’s eyes glisten with unshed tears. Love and lust fill the dark orbs as Jihoon gasps his name, hips twitching as he reaches for him.

“I love you, Soonyoung,” Jihoon whispers, and Soonyoung pushes his cock into Jihoon’s heat one last time, whispering a soft “I love you too,” against Jihoon’s lips as he comes inside the clenching hole. He can hear Jihoon whimpers as he pushes the last bit of his cum into him.

As soon as his orgasm passed, Soonyoung lets his weight pulls him down. Jihoon slips his fingers between his hairs and slowly strokes the back of his head. Soonyoung purrs in content as he burrows his face deeper between Jihoon’s neck and shoulder.

“Wonwoo is gonna kill us,” He hears Jihoon chuckles.

“Why?”

“He might have explicitly said to avoid doing it in the kitchen or living room,”

“He won’t if he doesn’t know it,” Soonyoung grinds his hips down, earning a moan from the boy below him. His cock is hardening quickly being surrounded by Jihoon’s warm inside. “Ready for round two?” Soonyoung pecks Jihoon’s red lips.

“Hell, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took soooo much longer than I expected. But, I'm so glad I can make it before Soonyoung's birthday.  
> Thank you for reading! Much love for the kudos and comments. <3
> 
> PS: Warm Milk and Chocolate and Apple and Strawberry Jam have surpassed 500 kudos. I-  
> PSS: I also saw some tweets recommending my fics and me :( like, thank you so much, I'm so so so happy. I would never imagine to see anyone recommending what I wrote to someone. BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE! You know who you are and I love you! Thank you so much! Until next time! *hugs and kisses*


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